Whether or not to share this beginning...has crossed my mind and heart more than once. I often believe it's best, not to include others in your plans until there's no turning back, or when success is already underway. But this beginning...this new adventure I embark on, feels too important to not share and include those around me. There will be ups and downs in my flight ahead, yet I welcome them with open arms, will rise to the challenges I'll face, and be forged stronger than ever before.
I have AN ASK OF YOU. I ask that you bare witness to my journey, without drawing your own conclusions, summoning and sharing your own opinions, but rather RECEIVE that this is MY STORY, and MY STORY ALONE, and is based on MY DREAMS and MY PATH forward in this life. Just as each of you have dreams and ambitions of your own, you have experienced yourself, that support is the greatest gift anyone could offer you, as you've embarked on your own respective journey.
This share, and continued posts I will offer, are to document my journey as it unfolds. Legally, I am unclear as to what I am allowed to share, and what I am not, so I may need to make revisions along the way, and/or delete these posts soon after. I really don't know.
On January 3rd, 2024 I lost my job under Divine circumstance. I wasn't meant to stay there, but to lay down aspects of my identity, so I could transform across a higher threshold and more rewarding path. It didn't take long for the path to reveal itself; I have come to this crossroad numerous times in my life. There was always something, keeping me from taking this road in the past. I know now, that those detours were because I was not ready to take flight...not like this.
My friends I am embarking on my bravest authenticity venture through life yet, by joining the United States Air Force! This time, when presented with this path, I saw and felt only one road. This path was crystal clear, and completely untroubled from obstructions, doubts, or obstacles. To the best of my recollection, I have felt a "single road", a "tried and true" path, present itself to me six times in my life thus far (this path being the seventh). Each time I accepted the offering, and my life's journey deepened to an unimaginable level. I gained new skills, made incredible friendships, navigated and found powerful healing through grief, and gained entrance into deeper wisdom within myself.
This next chapter, is the scariest and most exciting venture I've taken thus far! This choice will require I surpass every known "edge" I have within myself. And by surpassing my edges, will I be able to step into an even greater power. I am being invited to embody my most powerful Medicine Story yet! With this medicine, I will be able to serve others with a capacity, breadth and width unlike ever before. I am excited for what lies ahead, and all I will be able to contribute and share.
In the past, my creative/artist's-self would not surrender or bend in any-way, shape or form, towards something that wasn't my 100% Authentic-self, or didn't let my freak-flag fly. This time however, I release aspects of myself and offer them up as gifts and acts of commitment to the flight ahead. I relinquish my blue hair ( that I LITERALLY just had dyed), my piercings, most of my online businesses, my requisites for the types of environments I chose to live in and surround myself by, my freedom with comforts of food and leisure time.
Even as I write this, I am realizing my authenticity, my creativity, my "Niene-ness" is not in the things I create, produce, and share, it's in who I am. I will never lose that, no matter what environment I'm in, no matter how much I need to adapt and transform. My soul cannot be altered by the job I perform, the clothes on my back, or where I may live. And it is because I have earned this insight about myself, that my authentic-soul will still be felt by all I'll come to meet and work with in the journey ahead.
It is inevitable I will be offering up my authenticity, skills, wisdom, and services to a community of warriors who may never have experienced someone like myself. Each time one stands unapologetically as their true self, their highest self, others will always be positively affected. Whether they know it or not, to witness and greet someone standing in their power, awakens dormant gifts within the other, hidden gems they may have ignored and/or forgotten. I'm not joining with the aim to transform the U.S. Air Force, that sounds ridiculous. LOL. I just take peace in knowing my influence of harmony and authenticity will be experienced whether or not I even try. I am joining to be of service to others, and this opportunity presents me with a multitude of ways to do just that.
Authenticity doesn't prevent people from following orders or from banding together in times of great adversity. In fact, I would wager it's the authentic-soul within that achieves the impossible, because each of us has something utterly unique we're fighting for. But I'm getting ahead of myself...all part of the dreaming! Acting "as if" it's already happened and I'm already an Airman.
My decision to join, came days after my dismissal, and I have been in rigorous preparations since that day. My older brother, a physical therapist for the U.S. Army, has been providing a workout regimen to condition my body to surpass the rigors that await me at basic training. I now eat copious amounts of protein as well....and I feel FULL most of the time! It's getting easier to consume this much food, as my workouts have also been progressing. My muscle recovery is quickening, and I am starting to see some gains in my performance.
In case you need context, I will be the oldest biddy at basic by far!!! A whopping 42 years old, and most likely to play "sorority-mom" to all the other recruits I'll bunk with. While some young women may use my shoulder to cry on in basic, I will have to find a bathroom stall to hide in to let pressure out of my own kettle- but oh yeah- there likely won't be doors to our toilets, so there's that. LOL.
Where I'm at in this journey you may wonder? What are my next steps? I am weeks away from taking my ASVAB test. How I score on my ASVAB will determine two things: one, if I am trainable enough to even be allowed to enlist, and two, what jobs in the Air Force I can qualify for. When I am shuttled to San Antonio for my ASVAB, I will also be taking my Medical exam and will be interviewed. After I pass those, I will choose a job from the list of available (send prayers a job I am both qualified for and interested in is already mine), then I will enlist, and then I will be scheduled to attend basic training.
My goal is to begin Basic Training this April! Once I pass basic training, I will be relocated to attend technical training for the job I chose. Depending on my job, the technical training can last anywhere from 4 weeks-2 years! After which time, I will arrive at my first duty station, and the real adventure begins!
This opportunity grants me so many things, that the more people I share this story with, the more it makes sense to my closest friends and family.
It's been really hard to just LIVE as my authentic-self. Rents are higher than ever, and often inequitable to the income people receive. As an Airman, most of my expenses will be taken care of, giving me the hugest gift of being able to actively chip away at my debt, and then save for my retirement.
I've always wanted to get my Bachelor's degree, and now I'll be able to get that, AND a Master's for FREE! So the road of becoming a student again is ALSO on my horizon.
The job market has been really complicated with the introduction of AI, shifting markets, over -population, and ageism is a REAL thing! This opportunity guarantees me a job through retirement provided I do the "career track of 20 years". That takes a tremendous weight off my shoulders!
And honestly "following orders" sounds incredibly relaxing to me at this phase in my life. I just need to show up and DO. That leaves me with an abundance of energy I can then channel into things that make my heart sing!
My eyes and heart are wide open to the challenges ahead and for the immersion into an entirely different culture and way of life. And I couldn't be more thrilled about it!
For now, I am studying my ass off, working out, and trying to get rid of as many possessions as I can. Today is "UPPER BODY" day, and I am STILL actively working towards achieving just a SINGLE push-up! I've been doing eccentric pushups for awhile now, so the day I am able to do ONE from my toes, there will definitely be a celebratory post going out!
I'll keep you posted of my progress, and if you haven't already, please subscribe to my website, to stay informed of my journey and how it's unfolding! Just linger on the Home page for a few seconds and a window will prompt you to join my email list. It's free!
WOW! This is FANTASTIC! I totally get your logic for doing this. It's rough doing our creative callings when it feels like a constant hustle. So the stability of the road you're embarking on is totally appealing. Nice work! I'm sure you'll crush all challenges for enlisting and finding the right training path. I look forward to following your journey. Best, and Love, Suz