When it comes to the topic of "Reality" I have very strong opinions. For starters, let's talk about what we cannot prove. We currently do not have a known way to scientifically prove that when I look at a Red Crayola Crayon, or look at a stop sign, that the color I see with my eyes is the same color you see when looking at the same things. We have all been taught that when we look at strawberries or half the apples of the world, we are to call its color, "red". But the color each individual actually SEES with their own eyes could be drastically different. All any of us know is that when we see the shade we see, society has taught us to label it a certain way. You can argue anatomy and 'how the human eye works' till you're blue in the face (see what I did there); but we cannot prove how one individual experiences color is the same for ALL people on the planet.
To state the obvious, how often (if ever) have we conducted the same test on EVERY human alive that resulted in a unanimous recount of experience? And yet, every time we "discover" something we label it as "true for everyone". So, if I may be so bold,... what else can we not prove?
If we cannot prove something as small and simple as a shared experience of a single Crayola crayon, how can we possibly begin to make claims as complex and grand as 'how our very existence and/or creation of the Universe/Infinite works', is true for everyone? This is not to say that it's not possible for individuals to share a reality - I believe that it is absolutely possible for folks to share realities. But to make the claim that "this is how things work for everyone, you just don't know it yet" ,is something I just cannot get on board with.
We as humans LOVE our labels. We love to discover, and we feel even more secure when we believe we have solved a mystery/completed a new puzzle. These discoveries tend to offer us a little less fear in our lives, because we now "KNOW" something we didn't know before. Goddess forbid we "not know" how something works. The problem with our hunger to label everything, is that it doesn't take into account 'All that we don't know, that we don't know'!
How many times throughout history did we believe we KNEW how something worked? And how many times did what we "know to be true", transform? There is nothing wrong with doing research, testing, exploring and/or seeking answers to the mysteries of the world (provided they are sought in ethical-ways). It is making claims that things "ARE" instead of making claims that things "MIGHT BE", that I find triggering. Using "Might be" as your effort's "success marker", allows grace for others to have their own unique experiences, while also giving grace and humility that you may one day prove yourself wrong. "Might be" leaves open a door of possibility and a window of 'all that we don't know, that we don't know' to exist in ways that don't threaten another's experience.
Call it the compassionate "Care Bear" in me or the embarrassing young adult of high school and college that held her fellow classmates hostage after the bell, to express how we could be nicer to each other, stop bullying, and come to enjoy our lessons as a team instead of behaving like nasty children (I am blushing soooo hard right now at how many times in my life I have ACTUALLY DONE THIS). It is with this squishy-mushy-heart that I want to see our world flourish, and believe in order to do so effectively, we must find the humility, compassion, and curiosity, to journey together in an inclusive way.
And so it is, with this same squishy-mushy-heart that I pose to you a single question:
"What is the worst thing that can happen, if the only person who shares your reality is yourself?"
Artwork: "Nautilus" by Josephine Wall
Will your reality/world/existence/life as you know it suddenly collapse, suffocate, implode and/or kill you if your best friend believes they will go to heaven when they die, that there is only ONE true God, when you believe to be true that every God, Goddess, and deity across every faith, to be real? Does believing in parallel dimensions/parallel realities make it impossible to carry an engaging conversion about culture, family, problems and triumphs of the time, duty, etc. with someone who believes when they die, all that happens is they will return to the dirt? Why do we find our differences so threatening? I feel it's because we have not asked and answered ourselves the question, "What is the worst thing that can happen, if the only person who shares my reality is myself?"
QUESTIONS I INVITE YOU TO ASK YOURSELF / JOURNAL ABOUT:
"How might your resistance to engage with others who do not share your beliefs/reality effect our species coexistence in a harmonious way?"
"Where might you soften your boundaries to invite new perspectives to your table?"
"What's the worst thing that can happen for someone to change your mind and inspire you to believe in something you once thought impossible?"
"What is it costing you to remain exclusionary?"
"What could you gain, by allowing others to believe what they believe?"
"What about allowing others to be as they are, where they are, on their own individual paths, do you find threatening or invalidating? Why do you think you feel that way?"
"How might you begin to create space so a person who is different from you in beliefs, can exist and can be one you 'break bread' with?"
"Where are your personal needs not being met, that it has become overly important to you that others believe in the same things you do? How might you fulfill that need for yourself and give to yourself, so you can allow others to be who they are?"
"What could you gain, from releasing your need to be right?"
"What is the worst that can happen, from admitting openly to someone that you no nothing about a certain topic, and ask them to tell you about it?"
While it is possible that many or even all of us share the same reality, it is much more inclusive, humble, and opportunistic to entertain the idea that this may not be the case. Allow yourself to invite NEW voices to your table. Allow yourself to ask questions, gain new understanding, ponder new ideas, be entertained by interesting perspectives and stories without feeling like you also have to believe it. The simplest redirect for hearing a reality that is far removed from yours, is to embrace it as an entertaining story. "What is it costing you to just enjoy the conversation?"
Put THAT in your "label-maker" and print it!
"My word is done, as the rising moon in the setting sun."
- Priestess Niene
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