Welcome back community! I officially have access to the internet again, and wanted to reach out and touch base about my journey thus far...
It's difficult to put into words the rare experience I have undergone, an experience only 1% of the US population throughout our country's history, has endured...but I will do my best...
I am completely and forever changed.
I've heard people say many, many times that "family and friends will not recognize you after you complete Basic Combat Training" (BCT). I never put any stock in it. I assumed only young minds would experience that shift. Where as myself, a fully-grown woman with many years of professional and life experience, naively assumed, I would remain pretty much the same but with more confidence and shapely arm muscles. The transformation I experienced in Basic Combat Training, is like no other.
Coming out of BCT, I have a confidence that I didn't know was possible. I can achieve anything! Even if my muscles are not developed enough to biologically achieve something, I can still do it. It's the strangest thing. My 'mind over matter' has deepened and unlocked exponentially that I'm no longer concerned about whether or not I can achieve something; I just know that I absolutely CAN. And that kind of confidence is startling, bewildering, and incredibly invigorating!
I'm now inspired to take up other things that once seemed far-fetched and unobtainable like learning to play the cello, becoming an opera singer when singing has never been a strong suit of mine, becoming a circus arts performer at the age of 43, and getting back into dance so that I might perform in dance ensembles again! Heck yeah, and why not?! I've still got plenty of life to live, and have more passion and vigor than I've ever possessed.
Everyday in BCT, I was pushed outside my comfort zone and forced to tackle obstacles with zero time to babystep my way through it. Every action I took had to be taken with both feet and at a moment's notice, and everyday I would think to myself, "Aww shiiit. I don't know if I can do that." And everyday I said that to myself, I surprised myself by succeeding each and every time.
Not only was I successful at my endeavors, but often times I far exceeded my own expectations and even out-performed more than HALF of my teenage peers! It took this fiery-baptism to prove to myself I can jump into something I've never done before and figure it out pretty quickly. Each time I basked in my own "pudding-proof", I came to the realization that the familiar, self-limiting belief we all carry around with us, where we get in our own way, is GONE! And perhaps under a certain circumstance, she'll return. But for now, that obnoxious and annoying aspect of myself that would block opportunities, make me blind to all the potential laid at my feet, is completely gone.
And what remains...when I look at myself in the mirror....without any makeup, or hair products, or any products period....
I see a strong-ass warrior woman.
I see the confidence I admire in my favorite characters on TV and in movies.
I see strength and bravery in my reflection.
I see my might, my strong will, and determination.
I see my fluidity to adapt, my abundant heart, and curious soul.
I see that I'm a force of nature.
I see the beauty in my magickal spirit.
I see infinite possibilities radiating within and around me.
I see and now believe, I'm a Woman in Total Control of Herself (song W.I.T.C.H by Devon Cole).
I can't recommend this experience enough to anyone old or young enough to join the military. I haven't even completed my Advanced Individual Training (AIT) yet, or even arrived at my first duty station yet, and I already believe BCT alone was the best use of two months I've ever experienced in my life, by what I gained. And I can't imagine any circumstance that would offer you the opportunity to unlock that much potential in such a short period of time.
I thank all who supported me in the four months leading up to my enlistment, and all those who wrote me beautiful words of encouragement while undergoing the hardest thing I have ever done/probably will ever do that kept me going. This journey I've begun has forever changed me and to quote a sweet sentiment my friend Kristen sent me while in BCT:
"The Forging of a Sword is a painstaking and long process, but think of the sharpness and shine you will have when you are through! This will change your perspective of life for sure."
It would take a lot to melt the metal and might I have become! And you're right Kristen, I DO feel ultra sharp and shiny!
Big love and Blessings to All
Niene Pugliano
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